I have been putting incredibly awesome jokes as my status in gchat and a couple of people have guessed at the answers. Here they are.
Friday:
Why do cowboys always die with their boots on?
So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
Thursday:
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Wednesday:
What happened to the shark that swallowed keys? It got lock jaw.
Tuesday:
Why did the raccoon cross the road? To see its flat mate.
Prize goes to Isaac, he got all but Friday's.
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